Jessica Simpson was brutally honest when asked about her boyfriend and recent string of performances last night at Nina’s Night Out, a benefit for the Rape Crisis Center at the Palms Casino Resort’s Pearl Theatre in Las Vegas.

In true Simpson form, many of her answers erred on the side of too-much-information. After gushing about boyfriend Tony Romo she blurted out:

More photos after the skip…

“To be my man, you have to put up with a lot…I toot under the sheets, I spend a lot of money and I can belch the ABC’s.” 

Jessica, hon, nobody and I mean nobody, wants to think about you farting in bed. To add insult to injury, the big-tittied performer still hasn’t mastered the art of, um, performing. She forgot the lyrics to one of her singles, “With You” during her performance in Las Vegas.

“I did the same thing on Good Morning America… I’ve been singing that song for about 70 years and I forgot the lyrics. At least you guys knew them.” 

Oh, Jessica! That’s what happens when you don’t write your own music! When’s she going to retire already? When is the public going to finally overdose on the cute, dumb blond song and dance—especially when the song and dance is so dreadfully average?

Photos: PR Photos