Madonna shipped the boys back to London to visit with their father Guy Ritchie, but attached a very intricate list of Do’s and Dont’s. Among the list, Rocco and David aren’t allowed to consume media of any type (no T.V., DVD’s, magazines or newspapers) they also can’t drink water unless it’s Kabbalah-blessed, and they’re not allowed toys unless they’re “spiritually and ethically” sound. Whatever the hell that means.

more photos after the hop…

Previously, my sympathies went to the Jolie-Pitt clan. I like to muse on the future E! True Hollywood stories of the 30 children, starting off with Maddox’s armed robbery arrest and Shiloh’s porn career. But, now I think I’ll shift gears to hypothesizing the fate of Madonna’s poor kids. I mean, they’re 8 and 5 years old and can only eat macrobiotic, vegetarian, organic food? They aren’t allowed to watch cartoons? Or even PBS for that matter.

Those children are going to have such a warped perspective of the world. It’s going to be Kabbalah-blessed everything to the soundtrack of watered down pop. Ugh.

Photos: PR Photos