Snooki’s book ‘A Shore Thing’ was released today and boy is it full of fantastic quotes! While the literary elite certainly won’t have this tome on their bedside tables, it’s probably amusing to leaf through in a so bad its good kind of a way. Maybe?
Anyway, here are some choice quotes that the New York Post leaked this morning.
“He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face.”
“Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla.”
“Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a ‘roid rage, it is a ‘road’ ‘roid rage.”
“Gia danced around a little, shaking her peaches for show. She shook it hard. Too hard. In the middle of a shimmy, her stomach cramped. A fart slipped out. A loud one. And stinky.”
“Gia had never before been in jail. It wasn’t nearly as gritty and disgusting as she’d seen on TV prison shows. The Seaside Heights drunk tank — on a weekday afternoon — was as clean and quiet as a church.”
“I love food. I love drinking, boys, dancing until my feet swell. I love my family, my friends, my job, my boss. And I love my body, especially the badonk.”
Not bad for a chick who’s only read two book her entire life – Twilight and Dear John.
You can expect this to be a New York Times bestseller any minute now.