Charlie Sheen’s crazy quotes from his rant. Charlie’s crazy rant on the radio program “The Alex Jones Show.” If you didn’t know it’s a phone interview as Charlie and his two goddesses: porn star, Bree Olson and pot queen, Natalie Kenly are vacationing in the tropics! He sure sounded like he’s swallowed something.. a bottle of amphetamines? Two or worse (Scroll down to listen to his entire rant on radio)
“I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a pussy.”
“Here’s your first pee test, next one goes in your mouth. No, you won’t get high.”
“I’m so tired of pretending like my life isn’t perfect and bitchin’ and just winning every second.”
“Look what I’m dealing with, man. I’m dealing with fools and trolls. I’m dealing with soft targets, and it’s just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. They lay down with their ugly wives and their ugly children and just look at their loser lives and then they look at me and say, ‘I can’t process it.’
“Rhymes with winning? Anyone? Yeah, that would be us. Sorry man, didn’t make the rules. Oops.”
“The only thing I’m addicted to is winning.”
“It’s the work of sissies. The only thing I’m addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent. Do the math … another one of their mottoes is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you!”
“I’m tired of being told ‘You can’t talk about that, you can’t talk about that.’ Bull S-H-I-T. There’s something this side of deplorable that a certain Chaim Levine — yeah, that’s Chuck’s real name — mistook this rock star for his own selfish exit strategy, bro. Check it, Alex, I’ve embarrassed him in front of his children and the world by healing at a pace that his unevolved mind cannot process. Last I checked, Chaim, I spent close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold. And the gratitude I get is this charlatan chose not to do his job, which is to write. Clearly someone who believes he’s above the law.”
“There’s a new sheriff in town. And he has an army of assassins.”
We work for the Pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom. Print that, people. See where that goes.”
“I’m sorry, man, but I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”
You did Charlie! CBS pulled the plug on Mr. Perfect’s Two and A Half Men, the show is cancelled for the entire season, no words as to when or if it will resume.
Listen to his entire radio rant right here.
Come on people we have the Oscars coming this weekend, let’s not just focus on Charlie!
images via WENN
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