Ha! Everybody saw it coming…KRIS JENNER has KRIS HUMPHRIES totally ass-whipped. And he hasn’t even married KIM KARDASHIAN yet. Given she’s running the Kardashian empire with an iron hand, the girls’ pimp mom-ager can be a driving force when it comes to ordering her daughters’ men around. No wonder Scott Disick is gun shy about popping Kourtney the question. He has to contend with this…

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Why doesn’t it surprise us that CRYSTAL HARRIS ditched HUGH HEFNER over money. More to the point, that she wasn’t getting enough of it.  Who does she think she is? Anna Nicole Smith? Was she gunning for a prenup of her own ala Kim Kardashian?

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According to celebrity news, Crystal was getting mighty tired of her weekly allowance of a couple of hundred dollars and wanted more out of the relationship. Like maybe the Playboy mansion. She was also looking into launching her own music career apart from her duties as Hef‘s soon-to-be wife.

DENISE RICHARDS is penning her memoir and writing about the “beautiful love story” that was her marriage to CHARLIE SHEEN.

Wait…what?! Is Denise Richards due for rehab too?

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Denise opened up to star news about how everything that’s written these days about her ex-husband and their marriage is wholly negative, and she wants to tell everyone, or at least anyone who’s interested, how their love story unfolded – and subsequently imploded.

KIM KARDASHIAN‘s preparing for a domestic life as KRIS HUMPHRIES‘ wife: she debuted a shorter new hairdo and started dressing more casually. Is it love? Or could it be a ploy to divert the public’s attention from the fact that Bret Lockett is scheduled to release explicit cellphone pictures she sent him during their alleged 5-month torrid mobile phone affair? (That is if he’s telling the truth)

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NATALIE PORTMAN just delivered a boy! “Black Swan” has been such a good luck charm for the “Star Wars” alum, it not only garnered her an academy award and a spur-of-the-moment engagement to ballet choreographer Benjamin Millepied, it also left her with a bun in the oven – a bun which emerged, celebrity news learned, perfectly baked,  perched on its tiptoes and doing plies.

We’re kidding of course.

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Celebrity Psychic says no marriage for RYAN SEACREST and JULIANNE HOUGH and there’s more..We told you earlier that Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner and now the wedding is off? Celeb psychic Barb Powell predicted that on Star 102.5 KSTZ FM Des Moines radio show which aired months ago on January 7, 2011. So read on to get more predictions including Jennifer Aniston.

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Here are some of Barb’s predictions: