It’s KRIS HUMPHRIES‘ wedding too, of course, but just so you know, here’s your last minute lowdown on what’s going down in history as KIM KARDASHIAN‘s wedding before it all crashes down on us less than 10 hours from now. So Kim watchers, arm yourself with this information for in case you feel the need to gatecrash the event of the decade…
1. The Invite
Simple black and white, yes, but it comes in its own box covered with jet black hematite crystals. It also orders all guests to come in black tie, so don’t even attempt to gatecrash if you aren’t dressed appropriately. More importantly, it goes “Kris and Bruce Jenner request the pleasure of your company…” No mention of the groom’s parents, William and Debra Humphries at all. They weren’t among the 50 Kim banished from her guest list, were they?
2. The Guest List
Initially, there were 500 guests sent these voluminous hematite crystal-encrusted invite boxes, including Demi Lovato who’ll turn 19 on the wedding day itself, Ryan Seacrest, Kathie Lee Gifford, Venus and Serena Williams, Chiara, Nicole Richie, Lindsay Lohan, Jennifer Lopez and Victoria Beckham, among many others. But apparently, the fire marshal thought all those gauzy creations of tulle, lace and chiffon the ladies will be wearing pose fire hazards, given the bright klieg lights E!’s production crew will be glaring down on the crowd. So Kim got rid of 50 guests the other day, bringing the number down to 450…oh wait…add last minute Twitter invitee Ellen DeGeneres and that makes it 451, okay fire marshal?
3. The Venue
Hollywood celebrity websites have pinpointed the $20 million Spanish-style estate of Google CEO Eric Schmidt, an estate that used to belong to Ellen DeGeneres…no wonder she got a last-minute invite. Schmidt’s home will be adorned in the wedding motif of black, white and silver, with roses imported from Africa scattered in great quantities all around.
4. The Dress
Ah, yes. That Vera Wang dress that’s been kept under wraps only to be revealed on the day itself. Madame Tussauds did a replica of it that Kim Kardashian turned her nose up at. Whether it was her waxy likeness or the dress itself, we have no idea. But here’s Kim‘s assistant leaving Vera Wang headquarters with the dress in question. The bride barely clears five feet, but look how huge that dress is. Definitely a fire hazard.
5. The Perfume
And wouldn’t you know it, Kim concocted a special fragrance for her big day. It’s called “Love”, and comes in a bottle encrusted with 1,000 crystals. Each one goes for $100 apiece, and will presumably be used as wedding tokens. We are oh so ready to gatecrash in our black tie.
6. The Cars
Kim being Kim, hired no less than a fleet of individually chauffeured Rolls Royce Phantoms and Maybachs to ferry her family and other VIP guests to and from the venue. Anyone for sneaking into the trunk of one of these beauties? Her small army of helicopters and security people aren’t likely to check even the undercarriage, are they?
7. The First Dance
Kim hired her “Dancing With The Stars” partner Mark Ballas to choreograph her and Kris‘ first dance, which Mark agreed to do free of charge. We don’t really know what he was thinking giving his services away for free…do you know how hard it is to get a 6’9″ basketball beanpole to dip a 5’2″ hourglass? Kris‘ll break his back and that’ll be the end of his basketball career. Which brings us to…
8. The Shoes
Kim will be wearing something that brings her higher up than Kris Humphries‘ armpits if they’re going do to the first dance without looking like an overgrown man lugging a Raggedy Ann rag doll in wedding regalia around. Kim gravitated towards her favorite celebrity shoemaker Christian Louboutin, and together they collaborated on custom-made crystal encrusted 5-inch platforms whose prize tag will give Kim‘s $2 million Lorraine Schwartz engagement ring a run for it’s money.
9. The Cake
Kim didn’t want to rub Khloe the wrong way….look what Khloe did to her bachelorette party…so she went with her little sister’s suggestion and had a cake custom-made at Hansen’s Cakes in L.A. where Khloe had her own wedding cake done in 2009. She and Kris (okay, just Kim) chose a 10-tiered white number with chocolate chip icing and black and white accents. Total spend: $20,000. We bet Prince William and Kate Middleton‘s 8-tiered wedding cake didn’t cost as much.
So, let the countdown begin…
Images via WENN / TMZ / modelsandmoguls / Christian Louboutin
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