RIHANNA is still single and still not happy, she let all of Hollywood celebrity news know that fact on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” recently. She’s so unhappy about being without a real flesh-and-blood man, she’s resorted to hanging around one that’s, er…missing flesh and blood:

rihanna twitter

RiRi posted the disturbing photo above on her Twitter account to greet her 9 million followers a happy Halloween last month, but we really hope she’ll find someone to suck face with soon who’ll be able to return the favor…

After all, she has been complaining single life has been a pain in the ass since last month.

“I’m not dating anyone right now,”

Rihanna complains.

“I’m not dating at all.”

This despite rumors she was stepping out with the hot guy in her “We Found Love” music video, boxer-turned-model, Dudley O’Shaughnessey, that prime piece of man flesh who immediately denied he was seeing RiRi at all. He isn’t gay, is he?

“I’m not necessarily happy being single. It’s not really that cool,”

Rihanna goes on to say.

“My personal life is pretty much non-existent, which is not good, not for the long run. Not for me…”

and at this she spreads her legs and points at her crotch…

“…not for ‘Her.’”

It must be terribly difficult to be a hot-blooded 23-year-old who can’t find a date Friday nights.

“That’s why I stay on Twitter a lot. So I can conversate with my fans — because I don’t get any booty calls,”

the beauty from Barbados adds.

So…uh, any takers? What do you like in men, Rihanna?

“I like men that are more aggressive, but mysterious, but I like a man to be very sure,” she said. “I like them to be sure of themselves and know that you’re the man. I’m the lady and the only way for us to make this work is for us to play our roles. You know, I can’t really be the man for you. I don’t want to have to be. I’m the man at work all the time.”

Rihanna helpfully says, even it sounds like something from an Amy Winehouse song.

Well, there you go. Men who are men, line up please and end RiRi and her crotch’s suffering…

Image via Twitter

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