Because no, she is not pregnant, and the amazingly toned abdomen of this 43-year-old stunner will be the first visual aid in answering that question…

“I’m not having triplets. Not having twins. Nor am I having one baby,”

Jen told GQ Magazine in an exclusive interview, while lifting up her sweater and displaying her washboard tummy.

“You heard it here. I did not elope. I’m not knocked up now.”

Jen’s referring to the rumors that’ve been coursing through Hollywood gossip news of late that she’s gotten rid of a few bad habits to make way for a baby bump.

“Well, I recently quit smoking, and you do put on some extra pounds. It makes a difference, especially if you’re not 20,”

she explained.

“I think people maybe want me to have a kid now.”

She and beau, Justin Theroux, whom she met for the first time while filming “Wanderlust” with Paul Rudd, did the next best thing, though.

“We got a dog.”

Well, looks like we have a-ways to go because it seems the hottest woman of all time (according to Men’s Health Magazine) isn’t really in a hurry to have the patter of little feet in her household.

“I think that’s sort of cliché, isn’t it? Like, if you want to be happy, you should have the house, the husband, the kids.”

Jen continued.

“Kids are messy!”

So she isn’t Angie. Bid deal. She still has that flat tummy, though, eh?

Photos Via GQ Magazine, March 2012 Issue

Jen and Justin have been dating since last spring, and they’ve been constantly photographed from Los Angeles all the way to London. But what we’ve never really heard about is how Jen feels Justin measures up to her standards…

“First of all, he has great style — it’s very specific, and it has been his style forever,”

Jen tells InStyle Magazine.

“Has it influenced mine? No, but I know people say it has. ‘Oh, look, you’re dressing alike.’ And I think, No I’m not. I’ve had this jacket for three years!”

And as a lover boy?

“Having experienced everything you don’t want in a partner over time, it starts to narrow down to what you actually do want,”

Jen explains.

“As I get older I realize what qualities are important in love and what suits me. And what I won’t settle for.”

So does that mean Jen‘s settled for Justin for the long haul?

Now that is something we’d like to see…

Photos By PR Photos / via InStyle Magazine, March 2012 Issue

Surprise, surprise.

Jennifer has always been kind of boring on the red carpet—she’s always sticking to muted colors and her overused LBDs… and the Directors Guild of America Awards was no different.

But let’s be clear—we mean that Jen’s boring on the red carpet fashion-wise… not beauty-wise. Because Jen, regardless of her boring outfit choice, was looking mighty fine… which totally doesn’t surprise us one bit.

Jen wore a sparkly black Dolce & Gabbana beaded minidress, which she wore with strappy black Celine heels and a black Ferragamo clutch.

Stick-straight hair and glossy pink lips completed the look.

Just once we wish Jen would wear something fun and colorful on the red carpet… or hey, not even colorful—just something that isn’t black.

Are you as tired of the predictable Jennifer Aniston red carpet formula as we are?

Photos By PR Photos

Jen‘s comedic timing is impeccable, and she segues into being a total back-stabbing snake in the grass as soon as her potty-mouth talk show host pal leaves the room after having introduced her to a staff of writers brainstorming ideas for E!’s show, “Chelsea Lately”…

Jen immediately starts slinging the crap on her supposed friend’s busy schedule:

“Busy doing what, gossiping about more successful people that are better-looking than her? Putting her name on another dumb book to make the world an even dumber place?”

She says cattily.

“And then her hygiene… have you noticed this? Honestly, when we were in Cabo, she never showered! She would be like, ‘What? I went in the pool’. It’s gross!”

The video’s a spoof, which we supposed was done to add some entertainment value to “Chelsea Lately” after a host of other celebrities have slammed Handler for her ordinariness and lack of talent. Adding Jen Aniston to the mix to bring irony to it all should have done the trick of lampooning what’s getting to be a Chelsea epidemic.

But Jen sounds so amazingly real here…you’d think she feels the exact same way about her so-called friend.

Take a look at the video and see for yourself…

Photo Via Video Screen Grab

Could there actually be any truth to this rumor?

Okay, all has been quiet on the Jen and Justin front… but we’re sure that doesn’t mean that they’re unhappy! Heck, they sent out joint Christmas cards last month! Just because we haven’t seen them out and about in a while, doesn’t mean they’re broken up.

So where’s this breakup rumor coming from?

According to InTouch, Jennifer was expecting Justin to propose to her, as a Christmas gift… and instead, he got her a purse. A source tells the mag:

“She was all set to say ‘yes’… She was stunned. She started fighting with Justin, and the fight lasted for days.”

Justin reportedly got so fed up that he left their apartment and went to stay with a friend, just so he could get away from Jen. The source continues:

“Jen feels she’s putting so much into the relationship and Justin should commit to her, but she should be careful about putting him under too much pressure.”

But if Justin really did leave Jen, how come they went on vacation together in Telluride, Colorado for New Year’s Eve?

Smells like just another rumor to us. What do you think?

Photos By PR Photos

In one of the more bizarre stories ever to hit celebrity gossip websites, we’ve heard Jen‘s friend and top Hollywood agent, Sue Mengers allegedly gave the “Friends” star this advise for just in case she decided to become a mother in the future, and isn’t Brad Pitt just the perfect specimen of human to milk future sons and daughters of the earth from?

But perhaps the timing wasn’t right, and Jen was still fuming at Angie for “stealing” her man. Perhaps she was looking for the perfect revenge/rebound man, which she found for a time in comedian Vince Vaughn…

But just now when the 42-year-old Men’s Health Magazine’s Hottest Woman of All Time hears the ticking of her clock resounding at all hours, her ex Brad has reached the point of being highly unlikely to donate any part of his essence to anyone except his Angie.

And we’re not sure Justin Theroux has the right combination of genes Jen would like for her future offspring.

Will somebody please get down on their knees in front of Brad Pitt, to please…pretty, please give Jen this one last gift so life may finally begin…because after all, it is Christmas…

Photo By PR Photos

The “in honour” greeting card informs the recipient that a donation was made in their name to the St Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital and Best Friends Animal Society…

and also:

“We wish you and your family a holiday season full of happiness and joy…with warmth and love, Jen and Justin…”

Well, isn’t that sweet. A Christmas card with a conscience.

Jen hasn’t signified her intention to marry Justin, and in fact was recently very brusque with members of the press who kept pestering her about when she and her beau would be tying the knot.

But hey…a joint Christmas card. Could this be a step in that direction?

We can only speculate…and have us a happy holiday while we’re at it…

Photo Via Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux / Terry Richardson

The 42-year-old A-list actress, who’s been named “Hottest Women of All Time” by Men’s Health Magazine, finally admitted getting Botox injections, but said she had some in the past without actually admitting whether she still continues with treatments today. Either she really does have good genes, or she’s discovered some fountain of youth beauty routine she isn’t telling anyone about…

““People think that I do a lot of [Botox] injections, but I don’t. I’m not saying that I haven’t tried it but I see how it’s a slippery slope,”

Jen told InStyle Magazine.

“All that cosmetic stuff looks ridiculous on me.”

The “Horrible Bosses” star did reveal she’s been taking precautions ever since she noticed her appearance changing with her progressing age.

“I’ve started getting those little sun spots. Things are beginning to pop out. Even the texture of my skin is changing,”

Jen admitted.

“So I’ve recently started zapping the spots and getting spray tans whenever I can. And I’ve graduated to using SPF 60 sunblock when I’m on the beach.”

Whatever it is she’s doing, it’s really working, because Jen does have the most enviably young skin of any 42-year-old we’ve ever seen…

Photos By PR Photos

All the way ahead of Marilyn Monroe – 3rd place, Madonna - 5th place, and… *gasp*… Angelina Jolie from miles behind at 10th place…

Yay, Team Jen!

And if that weren’t enough, the 42-year-old “Horrible Bosses” star was also voted the sexiest.

“Funny is sexy, and Jennifer Aniston is funny,”

the Men’s Health magazine article reads.

Is this the magazine’s answer to Jen‘s alleged rival Angelina Jolie‘s directorial debut publicity?

“Her down-to-earth persona makes her seem attainable, and anyone who’s seen her in ‘Office Space’ has to admit she makes even pieces of flair look good.”

And taking a look at the photo from a previous Men’s Health celebrity photo shoot above, she does look pretty damn good for her age, doesn’t she?

“She rarely plays the airhead, and she seldom overplays a role: she’s funny in a quiet, refreshingly human way. And her all-too-human love life off-screen inspires sympathy that not even a string of bland romantic comedies can diminish,”

the article further explains.

“Other sex symbols drift toward one-dimensionality, becoming flat icons in the process, but throughout her career Aniston has remained sexy, funny, and unmistakably real. For that reason, she is our all-time sexiest woman.”

For all time!

Again, yay, Jen!

Photo By Men’s Health Magazine

Would you believe Jennifer Aniston can be this spoiled about her hair? How can people around her stand it? More to the point, how can her hairstylist stand it? Unless Jen is paying the stylist somewhere around the neighborhood of a six-figure amount to be available 24/7 just for her…

According to a report by Star Magazine, Jen is actually cracking down under the pressure of maintaining her heavenly locks…touted to be the most famous mane in Hollywood since she sported the “Rachel” way back in the 1990 during her “Friends” heyday.

“She throws a fit when she thinks certain people mess up her hair,”

a famous stylist allegedly snitched.

“It’s bizarre and obsessive. She’ll call her hairstylist at all hours just to blow it.”

According to the report, Jen once woke her hairstylist at four A.M. during a hair emergency.

“It was like a midlife crisis at four in the morning.”

The stylist snitch said.

Does this sound like an extremely dubious report, or is this a true-to-life quirk of an A-list actress? After all, one never knows when one might run into one’s ex-husband on the way to watch a movie…

Images via video screen grabs

Apparently, Brad, Angie and their kids were on a family movie night date at the ArcLight Cinemas in Hollywood to catch the 3D adventure film, “Hugo” that stars Asa Butterfield, Chloe Moretz, Ben Kingsley, Jude Law and Sacha Baron Cohen. And they exited the theater less than five minutes before Jen and Justin came in for the next show…

Can you just imagine the scene that would’ve ensued if Brad and Angie had dawdled at the lobby with the kids, or if Jen and Justin had stopped for a couple of minutes to buy some popcorn?

Would they have nodded to each other like highly civilized individuals, or would each couple have pretended the other didn’t exist?

Just how confused do you think Brad and Angie‘s “United Colors of Benetton” kids would’ve been to see what kind of reaction dad and mom would have toward’s dad’s ex and vice-versa?

Images via WENN

Jen and Chelsea share the same agent and publicist, who happen to be Hollywood power player brothers in real life, Kevin and Stephen Huvane. But that’s where the similarities end. Is it because potty-mouthed Chelsea appeals to Jen in the way Jen can never project her sweet, girl-next-door public persona to be?

“I rarely comment on my personal life but I am here to tell you that I’m madly in love. And I’m madly in love with the one and only Chelsea Handler,”

Jen told celebrity news.

“It’s really hard not to admire a dynamic, brash and ridiculously hilarious woman who has assembled such a large and rabid fan base — and she’s drunk half the time!”

Maybe Chelsea‘s freedom to make vicious comments all the time about other celebrities has Jen sighing in envy. After all, despite her meanie character in “Horrible Bosses,” no one really took her seriously that time, did they?

“Chelsea Handler is not only one of the funniest and the brightest and the sexiest women on the planet. She is inspiring a generation of women to be bold and daring and express exactly what is on their minds, whatever that may be.”

Take a look at it this way…Jen and Chelsea are both funny and sexy. But only one of them dares to be an acid-tongued lush on TV and in real life…something Jen‘s never likely to dare.

So what’s the score, Jen? Do you love Chelsea like crazy because of her profanity-laced rant against the woman who stole your husband, Angelina Jolie? Or is this a marketing ploy by your shared agent and publicist brothers to make Chelsea Handler more palatable to the public by linking her to you?

Image via WENN

Scruffy Justin looks like a goat himself in this film, “Wanderlust” directed by David Wain, about a workaholic New York couple (Jen and Paul Rudd) who move to the rural south after Paul is fired from his job. They end up living in a commune where love is free and clothing optional…

Justin plays a free-spirited, guitar-wielding hippie who tempts Jen away from her husband in this R-rated film set to hit theaters February next year.

Incidentally, “Wanderlust” is touted to be the movie where Jen and Justin initially meet in real life, and where milking the goat above sparked the romance that led Justin to abandon his live-in girlfriend of 14 years, Heidi Bivens, to take up with Jen right after filming wrapped up.

This is the film Jen might get to tell her (future) children where she woke up one morning and suddenly “looked forward to going to work.”

Take a look at Jennistin‘s beginnings and see for yourself…

Images via video grabs

The “Horrible Bosses” star was clearly irked by unending questions about her new beau, Justin Theroux, the love nests in Los Angeles and New York they’ve been feathering for the last couple of months, the matching clothes and rings, and the speculations that she’s headed for the altar and will be sporting a baby bump soon….

“Rumor number one: I am not planning to get married any time soon,”

Jen said without preamble.

“I’ve been married once, and I don’t know if I’ll get married again. But I can tell you that as of this very moment, I have no plan to get married. Got that?”

But no explanation of the matching rings were forthcoming. Maybe they both just like wearing matchy-matchy bling?

“And rumor Number two: no, we’re not pregnant,”

Jen continued.

“It’s just I quit smoking, so I’ve gained a couple of pounds.”

The 42-year-old star doesn’t seem to be in any hurry either.

“If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be. I’m at peace with whatever the plan is. But will you hate me if I say I don’t want to talk about my relationship?”

Well, no, not really Jen. But you also know the speculation will never end, right?

Right.

Image via WENN

Jen is rarely seen wearing any other color but black, but this time the “Horrible Bosses” star went for a more attention-grabbing look with a bronze sequined Kaufmanfranco minidress, which features a startlingly deep neckline and a sexy open back.

The gorgeous actress completed the outfit with Fred Leighton jewelry, a bronze Ferragamo clutch, and strappy Balenciaga heels.

As for her hair and makeup, Jennifer wore her shoulder-length blond locks down in loose waves and opted for shimmery eye makeup and glossy lips.

It’s nice to see Jen in something other than her usual LBDs, don’t you think?

images via WENN

Back when his current girlfriend Jen was just setting her sights on Hollywood heartthrob Brad Pitt, Justin was reportedly having a secret romance with Alyssa, according to Star magazine. The former couple met on the set of 1997 film “Below Utopia,” where Justin and Alyssa played each other’s love interests.

During this time, Justin was still relatively unknown while Alyssa was already a well-known actress. A source claims:

“Justin was always ambitious, so his involvement with an established actress early in his career wasn’t a big surprise.”

Obviously, Justin and Alyssa’s fling didn’t last long. That same year, the actor went on to start a 14-year relationship with Hollywood stylist Heidi Bivens, whom he reportedly left for Jennifer Aniston earlier this year.

What do you think of Justin and Alyssa as a couple?

images via WENN

Heidi is reportedly still having a hard time getting over the fact that Justin dumped her for Jen after a whopping 14 years together… which is why she wants them to take a hike—right out of New York City. A friend of Heidi’s tells Us Weekly:

“[Heidi] wishes they’d leave NYC already. It’s hard to move on, knowing they’re in the same city.”

Will she get her wish? Probably not. Justin and Jennifer have been sharing a West Village apartment in New York since September, and it doesn’t look like they plan on leaving any time soon… and they certainly won’t just leave because Heidi wants them to.

The pal adds:

“[Heidi] has stopped talking to Justin. She doesn’t want to know anything about him and Jen… though she’d like a heads-up on any marriage or baby news.”

Okay… so right now, all Heidi can do is stay as far away from Jen and Justin’s part of NYC… and possibly stop reading gossip sites or magazines, because there practically isn’t a day that Jen and Justin aren’t in them.

Do you think Jen and Justin should leave New York, out of respect for Heidi?

images via WENN

Strange, right?

Justin’s BMW motorcycle was sitting outside Jen’s apartment in New York on Thursday when a random vandal decided to cover it with lunchmeat.

A neighbor who was passing by at around 8 a.m. that morning was the first to discover the vandalism—the motorcycle had been covered with slices of “what clearly was bologna.” The neighbor shares:

“I got the impression it was some weird message, like, ‘You’re full of bologna’… The bike was in otherwise in fine condition.”

Who could have done this? It was probably just some random wacko (it’s New York, after all). But then again, you never know.

Now here’s a crazy thought—maybe this was the work of Justin’s ex-girlfriend, whom he reportedly dumped for Jennifer.

But why bologna?

image via WENN

Of course there is the fact that the neighbors at Jen‘s new Hollywood Hills have complained of hordes of paparazzi sprouting around the area causing noise, traffic, and minor accidents. Perhaps this may be one reason the brand new pair of Jennistin are moving to New York to avoid the friendly neighborhood lynch mob.

And don’t you just bet the New York penthouse will host that $450,000 painting Justin Theroux won at a Christie’s auction using Jen‘s money. A good investment to hang overlooking the bed, yes?

Image via WENN

Turns out, it was a pretty little abstract piece, and Jen and Justin won the highest bid for Glen Ligon’s “Stranger  #44,” a work done from charcoal and graphite on canvas. Star news thinks the real reason the new couple dropped nearly half a million dollars on a painting was to indulge their charitable selves. Proceeds of the auction are going towards the benefit of Artists for Haiti.

Wow. These two really want to share the love. Apart from the same clothes, that is.

What’s funny is that Theroux took charge of the bidding from the get-go, and we’re thinking, does he really have that kind of money, or has Jen given him carte blanche with her bank account? Ligon’s painting had been valued at $150,000, but thanks to Justin who’d been waving his bidding stick like crazy, they jacked the price up more than 50%.

“Aniston, who was in the room, clapped enthusiastically after [Theroux's] winning bid,”

a source said.

Oh well, she does have money and a lot of love for Justin to burn.

Image via WENN