So how’d that happen? Did she undergo a lip augmentation procedure or something?

Actually, no, she didn’t. Jessica is just experiencing one of the better side effects of being pregnant… swollen lips! A far better side effect than, say, farting 15 times more than the average person, which Jessica admitted to have experienced during the first few months of her pregnancy.

During the weekend, Jessica woke up to find that she had been gifted with bigger, juicier lips. She tweeted:

“Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins?! Yikes!”

Oh please. Don’t act like you don’t love it, Jess!

Photos By PR Photos / Jessica Simpson‘s Twitter

Looks like she’s ready to pop, doesn’t she?

It may have taken Jessica a long time to admit her pregnancy, but now that she has, she’s making up for lost time by working her baby bump like crazy. And why shouldn’t she? The first-time mom, who’s obviously sporting that gorgeous pregnancy glow, cradled her enormous bump on the red carpet and flashed her pearly whites like there’s no tomorrow.

Jessica looked every bit the yummy mommy in a sparkling black sequined dress and black studded pumps, which she complemented with smokey eyes and glossy pink lips, and lustrous waves.

Photos By PR Photos

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Or go towards getting that new nursery equipped in designer furniture and baby bling…

One thing’s for sure, it beats the $500,000 she and papa Joe Simpson were hoping to score for a pregnancy announcement deal with the tabloids. Good things come to those who wait, and all that…

“The deal is in place, and after having her baby, she’ll start with Weight Watchers to lose her baby weight.”

A source told the New York Post’s Page Six Magazine.

Meanwhile, star news has reported that Jess is giving in to her cravings at the drop of a hat and piling on the pounds to make sure she gives Weight Watchers their money’s worth. What better way than to give the company’s existing subscribers the kind of inspiration of having a huge and overweight celebrity mommy lose all that blubber right along with them.

But Jess, do think of the baby’s health while you’re at it, won’t you?

Photos By PR Photos

She only has three months left to go, but it seems she really can’t help herself when it comes to satisfying her cravings, and fiance Eric Johnson isn’t helping matters any by indulging all her food requests on demand…

“She’s said it’s been a difficult pregnancy — she’s been dizzy and nauseous,”

a friend revealed to OK! Magazine.

“They beg her to ease off, but so far she has not been able to help herself. Everything she eats is highly processed with chemicals and preservatives, white flour and sugar.”

Apparently Jess hasn’t let the risks of suffering from pre-eclampsia, high blood pressure, or gestational diabetes from enjoying her junk food fix.

“Jessica has always loved to eat; almost to the point of addiction. Jessica’s drug of choice is food and has been since she was a little kid. Her mom and sister Ashlee tell her that all those chemicals are bad for the baby, but she won’t listen”

The friend continued.

“She’ll tell Eric to bring her home a brownie, but once she has one, it kind of kicks in a binge. She’ll move onto ice cream, then she’ll want something salty, like potato chips with French onion dip.”

Jessica‘s now so swollen…even her hands and feet…that she finds it difficult to sleep at night. She can’t even take a mild sleeping pill for fear it’ll affect the fetus inside her.

But she’ll insist on her daily dose of Jack-in-the-Box shakes, salt and vinegar chips, rich dips, M&M’s, Taco Bell, and In-n-Out Burgers…

What are you betting the baby comes out looking like the Pillsbury doughboy…er, girl?

Image via Twitter

According to Jess, her pregnancy has been a breeze, so far. Does this mean, apart from serial farting her way through it, she hasn’t had the usual morning sickness and food cravings a lot of pregnant women experience?

“I feel great, I honestly do. Pregnancy is a friend of mine, so everything has been running smoothly,”

the 31-year-old first-time mom told Hollywood celebrity websites.

“So far, so good – no morning sickness. I feel great. I’m tired, but you know, I’m making a baby here!”

Well maybe the reason Jess kept mum on her condition for so long until it was so glaringly obvious was that she wanted to spend more time with her “best friend” before sharing it with the public.

“Letting everybody in on every detail of your life, that’s a hard thing to do,”

Jess admitted.

“I feel like, for me, those days are over, but I can always be who I am on camera… I’ll always be myself.”

What an absolutely true and un-hormonal thing to say! Jess must be having the time of her life with her pregnancy. What better time to bond with your offspring than when it’s still in utero.

Image via WENN

Jessica retweeted a post from OMGFacts, which said:

“The average person expels flatulence 15 times each day!”

She added:

“The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!”

Obviously, since Jessica’s pregnant, we can deduce that she’s speaking from her own experience. Is she giving out way too much information? Maybe so… but we’re not surprised. After all, this is the same woman who once admitted that she hardly ever brushes her teeth.

We know Jess isn’t one to shy away from such things. She once passed some serious gas in the presence of then-husband Nick Lachey during an episode of their old reality show “Newlyweds.” And afterwards, she told Nick:

“You love my stinky ass.”

We wonder if Jessica’s soon-to-be hubby Eric Johnson loves her stinky ass too… especially now that it’s 15 times stinkier.

image via WENN

Jess announced her pregnancy on her Twitter feed and website Tuesday that yes…

“It’s true! I am going to be a mummy!”

Following that up with photos of her all wrapped up in lace bandages, sporting an 80′s Olivia Newton-John hairdo and a distended belly…

So with that official announcement, sans the $500,000 deal with the tabloids she and Papa Joe Simpson were hoping for, Jess has also revealed to Hollywood gossip websites that wedding plans were still in the works, but likely to be pushed back until the newest member of the family makes an appearance.

“They’re both still really committed to getting married, and were both really into making decisions about what kind of wedding they wanted,”

a source reported.

The wedding was originally scheduled for this month, but apparently, Jess understandably felt pressured to let her public know she didn’t swallow a rain barrel, but had a bun in her oven instead. And wedding plans are just going to have to keep for a later announcement date…so stay tuned…

Image via Jessica Simpson

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Fancy Jess taking the announcement to town just when all speculation had died down and it was so glaringly obvious some kind of lifeform was growing in her midsection. On the other hand, maybe the other half of the population may have been thinking whatever’s in Jessica‘s tummy may be some sort of advanced fibroid, or an allergic reaction of humongous proportions.

“!!!ANNOUNCEMENT!!!”

Jessica posted on her Twitter feed, leading her fans and followers to her website where she’d put up photos of her dressed in her Halloween costume.

“It’s True! I am going to be a mummy!”

The title of her website post proclaims.

Not a very original costume…but apropos to her announcement, we think. Wonder why she chose to wear 80′s Olivia Newton-John hair, though?

And we’re also guessing she and Papa Joe Simpson are resigned to saying goodbye to that $500,000 they were expecting to get from the tabloids…well, trick or treat!

Images via Jessica Simpson

We’re not really sure if this is a case of self-denial…as in, “nah, a couple of workout sessions with Tracy Anderson, and I’ll lose this gut”…or if Jess is trying to buck celebrity tradition and leave Hollywood gossip websites to speculate about when she’ll ever announce the bun in her oven, and then go right ahead and pop out the babe who’ll stick it’s tongue out at us: “boo-ya!”

But knowing her daddy Joe Simpson and his “show me the money” take on his daughters’ careers, maybe she’s still holding out for that $500,000 deal to officially declare her state of infanticipation.

A Dr. Tara Solomon, Director of he Women’s Wellness Center of South Florida, is estimating Jess may be about 20 to 21 weeks along (six months preggy to you), and will probably have the baby around February or March next year.

But Jess still isn’t saying anything, not on her Twitter feed, on her Facebook wall, or even on her website via strategically promoted maternity wear for her fashion line.

What’s Jessica playing at, we wonder. Is there some sort of game plan we aren’t aware about? Because as far as we know, she doesn’t seem to be aware she’s pregnant, and we guess until she blurts it out, we’ll pretend right along with her.

You just had a really (really, really, really) heavy lunch, right Jess?

Images via WENN

We’re thinking maybe daddy and manager Joe Simpson may have something to do with this latest development. He’s one sharp businessman, is Joe Simpson, and with Jessica juggling a beauty product, fragrance and clothing empire, why not cash in on the baby, too?

…whom we heard happens to be a girl. Yes, she’s that far along enough to tell.

And Jessica‘s still shopping the confirmation deal around with various celebrity weeklies until she gets that half a million bucks to announce what the public already knows just by looking at her.

A rep for Jessica made no comment on the matter, and all Jessica will talk about is her impending (or not) wedding with Johnson.

“We’re enjoying our commitment to each other,”

Jessica primly said.

“We want to take our time … We might elope if it gets to that point.”

Does she mean the point right before she goes into labor four to five months from now?

Image via video grab

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We know…insane, right? But suddenly cashing out on this insanity puts a really calculating twist on the whole thing.

Entertainment news got hold of the book, with the unlikely title of: “The True Story of Jessica Ann Simpson‘s 22 month long attempt to seduce a married man- her very Active Super Secret Sex life: True Story Jessica Simpson Seduction of A Married Man (Volume 1)”, and found out it’s selling at Amazon for the crazy sum of $29.99.

Would you shell out that amount for fan fiction pulled out of a psychotic imagination? Although we bet Burchell believes every word of it to be true.

And why do we have an irrational feeling all the other crazed celebrity stalkers out there will be jumping on Burchell’s bandwagon and churning out tomes upon tomes of made-up affairs with their star obsessions that occur only in the recessed corners of their rotting minds?

That there’s a nice lucrative online business niche for you. Takers?

Image via WENN

Nicole finally spoke up saying there’s no truth to all the feud gossip:

“That couldn’t be further from the truth,”

Nicole revealed in an interview.

“I actually love and adore Jessica. I’ve known her for years … she is someone who’s very kind, very sweet and extremely smart.”

Nicole also respects Jessica‘s business sense, saying Jess is…

“a great business woman and someone that I really respect … I actually couldn’t love someone or respect someone more.”

Is Nicole merely paying lip service to keep the peace? Or does she really mean what she says.

Let’s look out for Jessica‘s take on the matter, shall we?

Images via WENN

Now what girl in their right mind would want to get rid of those double DD’s? More to the point, what girl’s fiance, particularly if he happens to be NFL Player Eric Johnson, would fall in with that game plan? Doesn’t make sense, does it? We thought not.

“Been getting lots of questions about this alleged breast reduction,”

Jessica clarified via Twitter.

“It’s UDDERly not true!” I LOVE MY BOOBIES!! They aren’t going anywhere!”

And so do we, and we bet Eric Johnson as well as every red blooded male on the planet, are so relieved to hear this Jessica isn’t getting rid of her signature trademark. Goes nicely with her bright smile, doesn’t it?

Images via WENN

Huh?

Reports claim that there’s a catfight brewing between Jessica and Nicole on the set of their NBC reality TV show, “Fashion Star,” on which they both serve as mentors to aspiring fashion designers. A source says:

“There’s definite friction between Nicole and Jessica on Fashion Star, and they’re both very curt.”

Another source reveals:

“They chat only when they need to, and they have wildly different opinions about style. [Nicole] thinks Jessica doesn’t have much of a high-fashion eye. And she makes snarky comments about Jessica’s outfits.”

But despite Nicole’s critical attitude towards Jessica’s mainstream fashion sense, she’s still on the losing end of the argument. Why? Because her clothing line, House of Harlow, earned only $10 million in sales last year, while Jessica’s raked in a whopping $750 million.

The second source adds:

“Jessica doesn’t really care what Nicole thinks. Nicole may know trends, but Jessica believes she knows how to make clothes for all kinds of women.”

Whose side are you on?

images via WENN

We don’t know if that’s going to help, but it’ll definitely make the numbers on her weight scale drop a few digits.

While most celebrities are spending wads and wads of cash to get ginormous boobs (*cough* Heidi Montag *cough*), Jessica actually wants to undergo breast reduction surgery because hers to make them smaller. One of her friends tells In Touch magazine:

“She thinks that if she downsizes her breasts, she will look smaller.”

The friend adds:

“She hasn’t decided if she’ll get it done before the wedding. She wants to, but she fears being laid up for a week or more so close to the date.”

Jessica and fiancé Eric Johnson reportedly told their family and friends that they were considering having their wedding in November, but according to the insider, the former pop star is thinking of pushing back the date because of her weight gain—she’s supposedly horrified at the idea of being a “plus-size bride.” Jessica’s friend reveals:

“She’s in such limbo about what to do… Jessica wants to waltz down the aisle — not waddle.”

Jessica, who’s repeatedly mistaken as pregnant because of her size, is reportedly “at her wit’s end.” The friend shares:

“If the weight doesn’t come off soon, she might either call off her wedding or get surgery. She’s that desperate. If she does postpone, breast reduction is on her to-do list.”

Yikes. Do you think Jessica should go under the knife, or should she just be happy with her body?

image via WENN

Entertainment news heard Vanessa field a question about Jessica Simpson with the awkward response:

“To address the elephant in the room, yes, you know coincidentally at the same time that our wedding is going on, his ex is actually also doing the beautiful thing of getting married herself.”

So in other words, Vanessa‘s not only calling Jess a huge grey wrinkly-skinned pachyderm, she’s implying Jessica‘s impending nuptials are her way of getting back at Nick?

Uh.

You don’t really want to get into a fight with a heavyweight do you, Vanessa? Not only does Jess have infinitely more talent money than you do, she has more clout in Hollywood than an MTV host has-been who hasn’t worked in showbiz since 2008.

Guess you’ll be right smack center on Papa Joe Simpson’s shotgun sights now, eh?

Images via WENN

Turns out, current entertainment news found their ivy league business was perfectly legit. And no, it wasn’t as specimen presentations in a summer undergraduate sociology class…

Jessica Alba‘s husband, Cash Warren and Jessica Simpson‘s fiance, Eric Johnson both graduated from Yale in 2001, and took their respective partners as dates to their 10-year college reunion.

See? Legit.

Who’s betting it’s the first time either one of those girls have set foot on ivy league soil…

Images via WENN