Madonna is buying her boyfriend Jesus Luz a $2.7 million New York apartment. It will be within walking distance from her $40 million townhouse. Madonna was not kidding when she told Jesus that he’ll never have to worry about money! Kiddo is set for life!

more photos of Madge and Jesus after the hop…

A source tells The Sun:

“Madonna is buying Jesus an apartment in New York. She has her real estate agent searching for the perfect pad for him in the new neighborhood where she has just moved.

Guy Ritchie still loves Madonna but he calls her “Retarded”. Ritchie tells Esquire in an interview that ”I still love her,” but he is quick to add, “but she’s retarded, too.” Ok, don’t we all think our exes are retarded? But Ritchie still loves Madonna, did you see this one coming? Read on Guy has some good things to say about Madonna.

more photos of Guy and Madonna after the jump…

Madonna and Lady Gaga staged a catfight on Saturday Night Live over the weekend! Madonna and Gaga dressed in matching black lingerie and knee high performed on the made up show ‘Deep House Dish’ when they broke into a catfight which involved hair pulling, wrestling, and put-downs – via Pop Eater

more photos of the two divas plus their catfight video below…

Guess what, Madonna? I”m totally hotter than you,” Lady Gaga saying.

Madonna admitted to Ryan Seacrest yesterday that she only likes young men. And not “younger” men (afterall, Madge is 51), but significantly young. In fact, her only requirement — they have to be “old enough to dress themselves.”

more Madonna and Jesus after the hop…

It’s no secret that Madonna has been carrying on with underwear model, Jesus Luz. Jesus may (may) be 23. Maybe. When Ryan jokingly hit on her, she curtly told him he was too old for her. She said:

Madonna would prefer a train wreck over getting married again. Madonna was on David Letterman last night and shot down the rumors she was getting married to Jesus Luz. Actually, she shot down rumors she would marry anyone, ever again.

More pictures of Madonna after the laugh…

Madonna said getting hit by a train would be better than saying I Do. Ouch. Was Guy Ritchie that bad of a husband? From Popeater:

Madonna to marry Jesus Luz? Madonna has been with the 23 year old Jesus for several months now, but they both only claim they are friends. Do friends marry? But this is Madonna, she can get away with anything…at any age too, apparently.

More pictures of Madonna after the vows…

Madonna has taken Jesus with her around the world, got him introduced to people in new York and he even is seen with her kids. But marriage? From Marie Claire:

Madonna banned Lindsay Lohan at a club this week. Madonna didn’t get Lindsay barred from the whole club, just the VIP area where she was partying. Lindsay saw Madonna and wanted to hang, but Madonna wasn’t feeling the love.

More pictures of Lindsay after the denial….

Madonna didn’t keep Lindsay away because of her drinking or bad substance ways. Nope. Madonna kept her away from jealousy! According to Digital Spy: