You may think it mightn’t be the toughest vow to make good on, but knowing how much the 85-year-old connoisseur of flesh loves women, it may as well be a promise he’s likely to break before half the year is out.

Our proof? He’s been the hands-on Playboy CEO since 1953, and lived a shamelessly decadent lifestyle surrounded by naked women of his choosing…

“This year has been a very interesting year for me, I almost got married,”

The Hef told People Magazine in his famous understated way.

“And as Holly [Madison] — a dear friend and former girlfriend — said, ‘Well, you missed a bullet.’ I think that’s accurate. I am clearly not meant to be married. Married life isn’t for me.”

Hefner, who has only (surprisingly) been married twice (to Mildred Williams from 1949 to 1959, and later to former Playmate of the Year, Kimberley Conrad from 1989 to 2009), said.

It looks like the Hef equates his success with staying single, and with the raging feat of those Lindsay Lohan issues flying off the shelves like flocks of hungry pigeons sighting a crumb in New York’s Central Park, perhaps 2012 will be a better year for the Playboy patriarch and his 58-year-old girlie magazine…

You think?

Photo By PR Photos

Crystal is obviously not content with dumping Playboy mogul Hugh Hefner just days before their already-paid-for wedding, taking the engagement ring and selling it, and making fun of his skills in the bedroom… she now wants to take his dog, too.

Holly Madison was obviously upset for Hef, and she took to Twitter to express it. She tweeted at Crystal:

“why did you voluntarily give the dog to Hef (who loves him too) after u left, only to ask for him back a few months later?”

She added:

“dogs shouldn’t be yanked from happy homes on a whim. She needs to quit attention-seeking!”

Kendra Wilkinson, meanwhile, also tweeted her support for Hef. She said:

“@hughhefner I’m sorry u have to go through this. That dog loves u so much. She abandoned him n now she want him back. She’s mean mean mean”

Yep. Crystal is indeed mean, Kendra. So, like Holly said… stop being a famewhore, Crystal!

Photos By PR Photos

Not only does she hold an untitled screenplay to a movie offer, she’s gotten this modeling contract under her belt, as well.

Looks like Lindsay, like Holly Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, Marilyn Monroe, and all the naked Playboy bunnies who got their start posing nude for the 58-year-old girlie magazine, owes Hugh Hefner a big one. Will the Hef be coming around to collect soon?

Star news found it interesting to learn that the photographer for the Jag Jeans photo shoot, Yu Tsai, is the same photographer who did Lindsay‘s “tasteful” Playboy spread last month.

“As Jag Jeans’ newest endorser, Lindsay embodies the strength and fearlessness of the woman of today. She is unafraid to be who she is. She is fierce yet exudes feminine grace,”

a press release from Jag Jeans reads.

“Lindsay was so involved with the shoot that she would go as far as adjusting items on the set. She even requested scissors so she could personally fray the edges of her crepe blouse because she believed it would look better that way. Lindsay would take a hands-on approach to her shots, as she was more than willing to change her hairstyle during mid-shoot and even used her own personal jewelry and accessories when needed.”

Wow.

Does LiLo have her career…such as it is…well in hand? Let’s hope she’ll be going full steam ahead by 2012.

If she’s learned all her lessons, that is.

Photo Via Yu Tsai for Jag Jeans

Apparently, the “Baby” singer, who’s still weathering the paternity claim slapped on him by Mariah Yeater for allegedly fathering her now 5-month-old son Tristyn, reportedly enjoys hanging out with Playboy CEO Hugh Hefner and his bunnies…and he’s only 17! Talk about living every man’s dream….

We understand teenagers his age suffer from an excess of raging hormones, but has the international pop sensation used his fame to score exclusive unlimited access to the Mansion, and no one’s put their indulgent foot down over this minor’s preoccupation for female flesh?

“Justin is obsessed with the Playboy Mansion,”

a source informed MSN.

“He actually has permission to show up whenever he wants. He’s invited to every party and he even visits just to hang with Hef.”

Justin‘s fascination with the Playboy Mansion allegedly began when his dad took him there to celebrate his 17th birthday in March.

Are we seeing a side of Justin Bieber that’s emerged this year to shock everyone to their socks?

What do you think?

Photo by PR Photos

Lindsay took a probation officer-approved holiday last week and fled to for Hawaii for a well-earned (and we mean well-earned!) respite after taking all her clothes off to pose as another person. Unfortunately, like she does her phones, other people’s jewelry and her virtue, Lindsay still hasn’t gotten out of the habit of forgetting where she leaves her stuff…including her purse with $10,000 in cash…

Hollywood news kids you not. $10,000 in cash!

The Honolulu Police Department reports that a 25-year-old woman who answers to the description of Lindsay Lohan filed a complaint yesterday for a missing purse which she had allegedly left in a rented Jeep that had been parked in a residential driveway.

Come on…who goes around with $10,000 stuffed inside a purse and leaves it out in the open for anyone to find?

Oh, wait…we forgot…Lindsay Lohan.

The good new is the purse was eventually found, but the ten grand was mysteriously missing.

“The bag was found nearby and the contents were missing,”

a statement from Honolulu police media liaison Officer Michelle Yu reads.

“There are no suspects and the investigation is ongoing.”

Was the money part of the $1 million fee Lindsay earned for baring all her 500 gazillion freckles for Playboy? Or is she trying to make more out of the whole incident?

Someone try and find the insurance rider to that rented jeep again…

Photo Via Lindsay Lohan‘s Twitter

Vote in our poll…who’d you rather?

Celebrity news isn’t quite sure if Hugh Hefner‘s run out of cover ideas, but here’s that Playboy bunny shaped chair Homer Simpson‘s wife donned on the November 2009 cover again. It looks like they painted that iconic seat red for Lindsay‘s Playboy photo shoot this year…

Recycle much?

We think the Hef should look into hiring new blood for his art department…if his art department people are the same bunch of guys who were with him when he launched the magazine way back in 1953.

But on to more important things…

So who do you think you’d vote for? Would you rather have a smoky-voiced Marge Simpson and her blue towering phallic symbol beehive, or cigarette-smoking Lindsay Lohan doing a Marilyn Monroe?

Photos Via Playboy Magazine

As previously reported by celebrity gossip websites, Lindsay’s nude Playboy photos have now been made available online after some of them were leaked way ahead of schedule by a hacker with mad skills.

If you’ve already seen them—and we’re pretty sure you have—then you’ve probably noticed that LiLo’s gloriously nude body was pretty heavily airbrushed, which isn’t surprising as most magazine photos rarely ever make the final cut without going through some serious post-processing.

Thankfully, there’s one Lindsay photo that escaped the clutches of Playboy magazine’s Photoshop wizards, and it may be the best one yet!

But that’s just our opinion…

What do you think? Does Lindsay Lohan look better airbrushed, or au naturale?

Photos Via TMZ

Hollywood rumors are going around Dina Lohan herself allegedly leaked her daughter’s $1 million worth of “tasteful” tributes to Hollywood icon Marilyn Monroe. And whether this story is true or false, or simply the case of a mother proudly showing her offspring’s latest accomplishment to the world, you’ll be seeing LiLo‘s full celebrity naked glory sooner rather than later…

“The Lindsay Lohan pictorial has been leaked on the Internet & is causing a sensation.”

Hugh Hefner related matter-of-factly on Twitter yesterday afternoon. And a couple of hours later, he informed his 900,000 followers that:

“Because of the interest & the Internet leak, we’re releasing the Lindsay Lohan issue early.”

Which means the January/February 2012 issue will be out on newsstands December 15.  It’s not like Hef had any choice…but the old guy seems truly excited about the early release of the Lindsay Lohan issue because:

“Lindsay Lohan was the top search name on the Internet yesterday. Her issue goes on sale late next week. Hot. Hot. Hot.”

The geriatric connoisseur of naked female flesh chortled on social media.

And true to his word, shortly before midnight last night, Hef made Lindsay‘s full array of ample charms available to the online world:

“Due to high demand, the Playboy issue with Lindsay Lohan’s pictorial is now available on iPlayboy…”

So go get ‘em, tiger…

Photos Via Playboy Magazine

We’re pretty sure Lindsay Lohan could use this kind of publicity, given her career isn’t going anywhere right now, and she’s rumored to have been thinking about jumping into the reality show circuit to keep her in powder bread and butter. But don’t worry Mr. Playboy CEO Hefner…celebrity news will give credit where credit is due…and we think this is truly a very tasteful shot of La Lohan…

Lindsay‘s naked and straddling a red Playboy bunny chair that covers her interesting bits, and we’re thinking the color of the chair and the matching background may be a reference to LiLo’s old nickname, “fire-crotch.” Remember those days? Or maybe it’s a subtle reminder for readers who’ve forgotten what her real hair color is. You think?

So is it classy?  For a Playboy cover, it definitely is.

Does it even remotely resemble a tribute to Marilyn Monroe that Hugh Hefner said the shoot was intended to be?

Uh…somebody will have to leak the whole spread for us so we can give our final word on this.

And do you think this was worth the $1 million Lindsay was paid to pose for the magazine?

That of course, is something you’ll have to tell us yourselves…

Photo By Playboy Magazine

Star news was thinking more along the lines of Mary Magdalene maybe, or even that Samaritan woman at the well… but the Virgin Mary? We suppose miracles do happen…and Pamela Anderson‘s about to reclaim her virginity, such as it is, on Canadian television…

The special will be hosted by comedian Russell Peters, and it’s geared to present “an irreverent twist on the Christmas special making it unlike anything viewers have seen before.”

Uh-oh. Beware Canadian TV viewers, Sodom and Gomorrah will rise from the ashes…

What is the world coming to these days if people have started making fun of one of the most important and solemn celebrations in the Christian world? What will they make fun of next? The Ramadan?

So if you’re really curious to see how a bottle-blonde and silicone-chested Virgin Mary will handle the birth of the Christ, stay tuned to watch Pamela Anderson on December 1 at 9 p.m. ET on CTV…

Image via Twitter

But don’t get mad at LiLo. It was Playboy CEO, Hugh Hefner‘s decision. It seems he wanted a Marilyn Monroe photo shoot like the one Lindsay did for celebrity photographer, Bert Stern. So she’ll be naked alright…only strategically covered like the Bert Stern photo above instead of fully beaver-ified like we’ve been expecting…

Uh…bummer?

Lindsay‘s first Playboy photo session apparently didn’t agree too well with the Hef. He thought it was too Kate Moss-ish, and he didn’t want a contemporary fashion-inspired story when he preferred classic Hollywood…you know, the decade he made his most Playboy sexual conquests in. When he was young and randy, and Lindsay‘s parents were nothing more than motes swimming in the ether.

So he rejected the first photo shoot and called for LiLo to come back for a second attempt, just before she turned herself in for her four and a half hour ordeal in jail. And the result will be what you’ll be seeing in the January/February 2012 issue.

So no full frontal nudity. Does that mean Lindsay‘s $1 million paycheck’s been significantly cut?

Image via Bert Stern

The above New York magazine cover is a recreation of the last sitting Marilyn ever did. Lindsay, a self-confessed Marilyn fan did the shoot with celebrity photographer Bert Stern, who did the original Marilyn version…

That’s not to say that Lindsay didn’t do a full frontal for Playboy, which Hollywood rumors assures us she did.

“It’s a classic tribute inspired by the original Tom Kelly nude pictorial of Marilyn Monroe, a portion of which was the original playmate which was in the original issue of Playboy,”

the Playboy CEO revealed.

Hugh‘s referring to the second set of shots Lindsay had to do before she turned herself over to jail Monday.  Apparently, her first set didn’t pass muster with the octogenarian connoisseur of flesh.

“The pictures Lindsay took last week are much better than the first set,”

a source has been quoted as saying.

“The final decision gets made by Hef on which pictures go in the magazine.”

So expect Lindsay‘s “classy” Marilyn Monroe-esque Playboy cover and spread on the January/February 2012 issue.

We hope she won’t have spent all of that $1 million paycheck by then.

Image via WENN / Bert Stern

This reassurance comes on the heels of Lindsay‘s fifth jail sentence in as many as four years. Maybe this is Dina‘s way of shifting the spotlight back to what’s left of her daughter’s career…which is infinitely better than having her splashed all over Hollywood gossip websites featured as an ex and future con. This is what a good mother does, surely.

But then again, what do you expect of a mom who’s planning to out a graphic tell-all book about the very same daughter, exposing all her deep, dark secrets for the whole world to read?

But that $1 million price tag must have Dina panting to publicize the Playboy deal, even as Lindsay rushed to complete another session of naked celebrity photo shoots before heading over to jail to be incarcerated.

“It will be tastefully done,”

Dina insists.

“She’s been working in front of the camera with Ford Models since she was a little girl so she kinda’ knows how to work that.”

Well, we guess that’s alright, isn’t it? Knowing Dina had slave labor off little Lindsay when she signed her daughter to Ford Models all those years ago, so Playboy may actually be a step up, eh?

Image via WENN

Granted, star news doesn’t really believe Hugh Hefner would impose an R-rating on the mansion and bar underage girls from entering it’s decadently vaunted doors (heck, the mansion probably had it’s fair share of resident jailbait meat in the last 30 years), but shouldn’t Lindsay have known better than to allow Ali to tag along to her naked celebrity photo shoot?

We know Ali’s an up-and-coming model and all that, but we’re hoping she’d aspire higher than a nude spread on Playboy to cap her career. Besides, we don’t think the Playboy CEO’s tastes for his publication run into emaciated brunettes who’ve lost any semblance of chest and bum due to extreme dieting.

“The photo shoot went well,”

Mom Dina Lohan, she of the graphic, tell-all Lindsay book, was quoted as saying.

Of course, she would. That $1 million will go a long way to funding the lifestyle she’s used to leading when Lindsay used to be an A-lister.

And she really doesn’t seem to care a fart that her younger minor-aged daughter was exposed to the sleazy world of soft porn while moonlighting as sis Lindsay‘s personal assistant for the photo shoot.

Image via WENN

Candice Swanepoel in Marie Claire South Africa

5 celebs who’ve made shocking anti-gay comments

Sam Evans coming back to McKinley High

Rent the Runway Look of the Week: Classing Up Halloween!

Tara Reid and Zack Kehayov marriage not legal

Breaking Dawn’s breaking news: The honeymoon…

Sexy bikini pics of Alessandra Ambrosio in Honolulu

Justin Bieber & Selena Gomez taken… a puppy!

Beyonce get her nails done in NYC

image via WENN

Lindsay may not be as stunning as she used to be back when she had her act together (and her teeth seem to be decaying, too), but that hasn’t stopped Playboy from seeking her out and putting her in their glossy pages.

According to TMZ’s sources, Lindsay has been in talks to do the nude spread for months. Playboy initially offered Lindsay $750,000, but the troubled actress told them she wanted a whopping $1 million, or no dice.

The deal came through after Hugh Hefner and his peeps came back with a higher offer that finally made Lindsay agree—although it wasn’t as high as her original asking price.

No word yet on which Playboy issue Lindsay will be featured on, but we’re guessing that, whichever it is, it’s coming out soon. Her nude photo shoot reportedly started last weekend.

Morgue duty and nude Playboy shoots? My, what a strange month LiLo is having.

image via WENN

Just half? Huh. That’s pretty surprising. After all, it’s not like it was used and abused, which would of course depreciate the value quite a bit.

Crystal’s 3.39 carat diamond engagement ring was bought by an unidentified buyer on Tuesday at a flat price of $38,000, adding up to $47,500 with taxes and fees—just a few thousand dollars over its original price of $90,000.

It’s actually a pretty good deal, since the ring was only expected to pull in around $20-30k.

Crystal had been looking to sell her rock ever since former fiancé Hef told her she could keep it. She was even caught trying to pawn it at a San Diego jewelry shop just a few days after she and her much, much older boyfriend broke up.

Crystal and Hef were supposed to tie the knot in June, but the 25-year-old blonde bombshell broke off the engagement five days prior to the date.

Was it right for Crystal to sell the ring? What do you think?

image via WENN

According to reports, Hugh Hefner’s ex-fiancée has already set up a few meetings with some networks that are interested in giving her a reality show, and she’s hoping to land a contract soon.

So what will the show be about? Surely she won’t just be puckering her lips and batting her eyelashes?

Oh wait—of course she will.

However, TMZ tells us that there will be more to the show aside from parading around a pretty face and a nice rack. The show will reportedly revolve around Crystal’s struggle to find a new career, now that she no longer has the privilege of having Hef’s wallet at her disposal.

Will you watch Crystal’s reality show?

image via WENN

Crystal has apologized to Hugh on Hollywood celebrity websites and on Twitter for her disparaging remarks about his sexual abilities, but Kendra doesn’t think that cuts it at all. Especially in the wake of Crystal practically deserting the Hef at the altar before their wedding last month.

“I thought she’d be classy about things [following their split]. But it’s not classy how she’s opening her mouth the way she is. She should’ve kept her mouth shut, been a bigger person and just walked away. She looks like trash.”

Kendra, who’s gone forward with her career in “Dancing With The Stars” and her self-titled reality show, snapped.

Well said.

Calling Hugh Hefner, Kendra should be due for a Bunny loyalty medal any day now.

Images via WENN

Apparently the original Playboy’s pride and ego took a serious hit after his ex Crystal Harris insulted his sexual prowess, so he decided to tell everyone some intimate details about his sex life. He tweeted:

“For the record, I have sex on a weekly basis… And I did throughout my two-and-a-half years with Crystal.”

Celebrity gossip websites recently reported that Crystal never saw Hef naked and that their bedroom sessions lasted “two seconds.” Also, the “runaway bride” claimed that Hef’s luscious 85-year-old body and his charming wrinkles just couldn’t do it for her—he could never turn her on no matter what he did.

But the other ladies in Hef’s life don’t seem to have the same problem. Crystal wasn’t the only woman in the Playboy mogul’s bed, after all. Hef claimed:

“My sex life involves more than one partner and has since the end of my marriage in 1998.”

When one follower said that his “having more than one partner” could have been the reason behind the split with Crystal, Hef responded:

“There’s safety in numbers. When I try to settle down [like I did with] Crystal, I get burned.”

Fortunately for Hef, a lot of young and attractive women are falling over themselves to get the aging Playboy mogul in the bedroom. He reveals:

“Curiously enough, my lifestyle attracts a lot of women… I keep getting these requests to become a girlfriend.”

Ugh. Disgusting.

images via WENN