The latest Hollywood gossip reports tell us that ASHTON KUTCHER has completely won over the ‘Two And A Half Men’ cast and crew—especially after he threw an impromptu party for everyone after their first day of shooting.

Sorry, Charlie Sheen. Looks like everyone now officially likes Ashton more than you!

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Well, no…we don’t mean that literally, but CHARLIE SHEEN is set to explode in a “shower of meat” that causes  his character Charlie Harper’s demise in “Two And A Half Men”. Or at least that’s what’s written in the script to explain why the main character’s been killed off in the hit series where Season 9 opens to a scene of his closed-casket funeral.

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Yes, closed casket. Meat shower, remember?

So yes, ASHTON KUTCHER has officially kicked off the 9th season of “Two And A Half Men” with a funeral. No, not his…CHARLIE SHEEN‘s.  The latest season isn’t due to air til September 19, but here’s a lowdown on what to expect when it opens this fall…

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Star news says Ashton‘s playing a brokenhearted Internet billionaire – brokenhearted from what, they aren’t saying. And he’ll be attending the funeral of  Charlie Sheen‘s character who’s been killed off on the show from an as yet undisclosed accident, though we’re betting it’ll be an overdose of tiger blood…you think?

Two And A Half Men launches new teaser ad campaign with the three main guys: JON CRYER, ASHTON KUTHCER, ANGUS T. JONES seemingly naked covered by its launch date.We wonder what is Cryer is frowning at.. Doesn’t it look like he’s staring at Ashton‘s manhood?

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According to the latest entertainment news, the sitcom will return on September 19, with Charlie being dead and Ashton joining the show, do you think it’ll remain one of the most popular sitcoms out there? Methinks it will be a huge success. Ashton is such a great comedian, has anyone seen That 70s Show? I literally used to watch every single episode and loved it.

Entertainment news tells us that CHARLIE SHEEN’s character on ‘Two and a Half Men’—Charlie Harper—is going to be killed in a tragic accident of some sort. Pretty dark for a comedy show, don’t you think?

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Sources tell TMZ that producers of ‘Two and a Half Men’ have devised a plot to make sure that the Sheen can never return to the show. EVER. Creator and executive producer Chuck Lorre has decided to kill of Charlie’s character—also named Charlie—in some tragic accident.

Is CHARLIE SHEEN really ‘destroyed’ by the news that ASHTON KUTCHER has swooped in and picked up his role on ‘Two and a Half Men?’ Well, if a source close to the #tigerblood infused actor is to be trusted, Sheen is privately devastated that the show’s creators chose to split with him permanently and replace him with the young, hip Kutcher.

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Says the source to Popeater.com: